Which Edit Best Improves the Parallelism of This Sentence?
Here's a sentence that trips up even experienced writers: "The coach told the players that they should practice more, to improve their strength, and that resting well was important."
Something feels off, right? That's your ear picking up on a parallelism problem. Fixing it isn't just about making the sentence "sound better" – it's about making your writing actually work for your reader.
The issue here is that we've got mixed structures competing for attention. Day to day, one part uses "that" clauses, another throws in a gerund phrase, and the whole thing stumbles over itself. Let's break down what parallelism really means and why getting it right matters more than you might think.
What Is Parallelism in Writing?
Parallelism is simply matching grammatical structures in a series or comparison. When you're listing items, comparing ideas, or stacking clauses, keeping the same grammatical form helps readers process information smoothly It's one of those things that adds up..
Think of it like music – when instruments play in harmony with matching rhythms, the result is pleasing and clear. When one instrument keeps changing time signatures while others stay steady, the whole piece falls apart Easy to understand, harder to ignore..
The Basic Rule
When you connect ideas with coordinating conjunctions (and, but, or, nor) or with correlative conjunctions (either...or, neither...Plus, nor, not only... but also), keep the grammatical structure identical.
Why Your Brain Cares
Your brain processes parallel structures faster because it can predict the pattern. Practically speaking, when you read "She likes running, swimming, and cycling," you don't have to pause at each item to figure out what part of speech you're dealing with. Everything matches, so comprehension flows.
Why Parallelism Actually Matters
Bad parallelism doesn't just make you look amateurish – it actively impedes communication. Readers stumble, re-read, and sometimes miss your point entirely And that's really what it comes down to..
Real-World Consequences
In business writing, poor parallelism can cost you credibility. Even so, in academic writing, it can obscure your arguments. In creative writing, it can pull readers out of your story world Worth keeping that in mind..
Consider these two versions:
- "Our company values innovation, to provide excellent customer service, and we strive for excellence."
- "Our company values innovation, provides excellent customer service, and strives for excellence."
The second version doesn't just sound better – it communicates more clearly because the parallel structure reinforces the relationship between these core values Worth knowing..
The Confidence Factor
When your writing demonstrates clean parallelism, it signals competence and attention to detail. Readers trust writers who make their jobs easier.
How to Fix Parallelism Problems
Identifying and correcting parallelism issues requires both mechanical knowledge and intuitive feel. Here's how to develop both The details matter here..
Step 1: Identify the Connecting Words
Look for coordinating conjunctions (and, but, or, nor, for, so, yet) and correlative conjunctions (both...and, either...or, neither...Day to day, nor). These often signal where parallelism matters.
Step 2: Check Each Element
Make sure each item connected by these words follows the same grammatical pattern. This might mean converting nouns to verbs, phrases to clauses, or adjusting verb forms No workaround needed..
Step 3: Test the Rhythm
Read the sentence aloud. If you find yourself stumbling or having to slow down at certain points, that's often a parallelism issue.
Common Structural Matches
- Verbs with verbs: "She runs, jumps, and swims"
- Nouns with nouns: "He enjoys reading, writing, and arithmetic"
- Phrases with phrases: "The project requires dedication, perseverance, and hard work"
- Clauses with clauses: "I came, I saw, I conquered"
Common Mistakes That Kill Parallelism
Even smart writers fall into these traps regularly. Recognizing them is half the battle Surprisingly effective..
Mixing Infinitives and Gerunds
One of the most frequent errors involves mixing infinitive phrases (to + verb) with gerund phrases (-ing words).
Wrong: "She likes to swim and running marathons" Right: "She likes swimming and running marathons" OR "She likes to swim and to run marathons"
Inconsistent Clause Structures
When using "that" clauses or other subordinate structures, keep them uniform.
Wrong: "The teacher said that homework was important and that students should study regularly" Right: "The teacher said that homework was important and that studying regularly was essential"
Correlative Conjunction Confusion
These pairs demand exact matching.
Wrong: "Not only did he finish early, but he also improved his score" Right: "Not only did he finish early, but he also improved his score" OR "He not only finished early but also improved his score"
What Actually Works: Practical Fixes
Here are proven strategies that go beyond basic grammar rules Simple, but easy to overlook. Which is the point..
The "Strip It Down" Method
Remove everything except the core elements and see if they match. Take this problematic sentence: "The manager wanted to increase sales, improving customer satisfaction, and that employee training was essential."
Strip it to: "increase sales, improving customer satisfaction, employee training"
Now you can see the mismatch clearly. Fix: "The manager wanted to increase sales, improve customer satisfaction, and ensure essential employee training."
The Substitution Test
Replace each element with a single word and see if the sentence still makes sense. If you get "She likes run, swimming, bike," you know something's wrong Simple as that..
Read It Backwards
Sometimes reading a sentence in reverse order helps you hear the structural problems more clearly Easy to understand, harder to ignore..
Real Examples and Their Fixes
Let's look at actual sentences and see how to improve them.
Example 1: Mixed Structures
Original: "The new policy aims to reduce costs, improving efficiency, and that quality standards will be maintained." Fixed: "The new policy aims to reduce costs, improve efficiency, and maintain quality standards."
Example 2: Correlative Conjunction Issues
Original: "Both the marketing team completed their campaign early and the sales figures improved significantly." Fixed: "Both the marketing team completed their campaign early and the sales team exceeded their targets."
Example 3: Complex Sentence Problems
Original: "Students who study regularly perform better on exams, they develop critical thinking skills, and preparation reduces anxiety." Fixed: "Students who study regularly perform better on exams, develop critical thinking skills, and experience reduced anxiety."
FAQ
What's the easiest way to check for parallelism? Read your sentence aloud and listen for rhythm disruptions. If you stumble or have to slow down at certain points, examine those areas for structural mismatches.
Can breaking parallelism ever be intentional? Yes, but it's rare and usually serves a specific stylistic purpose. Most of the time, breaking parallelism accidentally just confuses readers.
Does parallelism matter in casual writing? Less formally, but consistent structure still helps clarity. Even in texts and social media posts, parallel structures are easier to process quickly The details matter here..
How do I fix parallelism in long, complex sentences? Break them into shorter sentences or use the "strip it down" method to isolate the core elements and rebuild with consistent structure.
Are there tools that catch parallelism errors? Grammar checkers sometimes flag them, but human judgment is usually better at identifying subtle parallelism issues in context Simple as that..
The Bottom Line
Parallelism isn't just a grammar rule – it's a tool for clearer communication. When you master it, your writing becomes more persuasive, more readable, and more professional.
The original sentence about the coach? Here's the fix: "The coach
emphasized discipline, teamwork, and a relentless pursuit of excellence."
By focusing on parallelism, you ensure your message is delivered with precision and impact, making your writing stand out. Whether for a professional report, a personal essay, or a casual blog post, the principles of parallel structure can significantly enhance your writing skills That's the part that actually makes a difference..
